Bureaucrazy

Ah, the wonders of getting anything done in Brazil. I have been in the process of applying for my permanent visa for what seems likes forever (real time: three and a half months). I was informed by Dave's office a few weeks before my wedding of all the documents I would need in order to apply, so as to get the ball rolling. I was told to come back to them with a new passport (with my married name) and my marriage certificate, and that they would handle the rest. Upon returning from my honeymoon, relaxed and refreshed, I find out that, in fact, I also needed to have returned with an FBI criminal clearance (a.k.a. a paper stating that I do not, in fact, possess a criminal record in the the US). I do a little Internet research to find that this form can take up to 18 weeks to process, which would have been right around the time my tourist visa was set to expire. (Note: if your tourist visa expires while you are still in the country, you must leave and you are not able to return for one year.) Luckily, we were able to get the go ahead to use a NYPD criminal clearance, but I still had to wait until the next time I was in the US - which was several weeks away at the time - to go to a police station to get fingerprinted and, two weeks after that, the clearance was mine.

Finally, last week, everything was in order and Dave and I were told to report to the Federal Police (the government office where all visa issues are handled) on Thursday, May 24. The preceding Tuesday morning we receive an email saying that the Federal Police have gone on strike and that we will have to wait until Friday for our appointment. On Friday I arrive, sign some papers, and am fingerprinted. Dave arrives slightly later, having left work in the middle of the day, only to learn that he didn't need to be there. Then, I am told that I will have to appear at the US Consulate the following week, why, because there is a "discrepancy" in the names on my various papers and I need to get a form from the consulate proving that all of the documents are from the same person. When I ask what the discrepancy is I am told that my criminal clearance states only my first and last name, whereas my passport has my middle name as well. I try to explain, to no avail, that in the US we don't put our middle names on everything. So, the following Wednesday I arrive at the consulate and fulfill what I think to be my last task in the ever-headache-causing process. I am told by Dave's office that I will have my passport back and set to go later that day.

The next day, Thursday, May 31, I receive a call saying that I will have to appear at the Federal Police again. It seems that my application has been rejected, despite the paper from the consulate, and that I will have to appear to let them know which name I want on my resident ID card, and to request to start the application process over again. I arrive and am told by a woman working at the Federal Police that I have "several different names" and that it is unclear which should appear on my ID card. She tells me that the name on my marriage licence is different from the name on my passport which is different again from the name on my criminal clearance. I argue that this is not true, but she does not seem to care. She tells me the application will be put in to be processed over again and will take another 15 days to be entered into the system. As I am waiting to pick up my passport, the man who is with me (hired by Dave's office) tells me that I will be getting my passport back with a stamp that will allow me to enter and leave the country with ease, even after my tourist visa expires, but that my permanent visa and resident card will take 12-18 months to process. I think that I mishear him so I ask again and he repeats 12-18 MONTHS. So, I can leave the country when I want, and come back when I want, but I cannot be legally employed, or apply for a Brazilian bank account or credit card until about a year from now when we will likely be living back in the US anyway.

As I am leaving the Federal Police I ask for my marriage certificate back from the man from Dave's office. He gives it to me and asks if I would like to have the Brazilian translation (prepared by Dave's office) as well. I take the translation, which I am seeing for the first time, and realize that in it my name is written out as an amalgamation of my maiden name and new last name, forming a long and incorrect chain of names. (The original document lists my maiden name and then states clearly what my new last name is to be, it does not combine all the names into one.) I now understand why the woman was trying to tell me that my name was different on my marriage certificate, as she was going by the translation. I want to scream at the combined incompetence of many offices coming together. I want to ask why I wasn't able to see the translation before it was submitted. More than anything, I miss NYC where I was able to successfully change my name on my drivers license, social security card, bank accounts, credit cards, and frequent flier accounts all within a few days time. But, instead, I get into my car and ride back home, just another day in Brazil.